Brim

How I deal with CR in RP games.

I have some very strong opinions about this and I know no everyone will ever agree with me fully. But lately I feel like I need to voice it, especially so people understand why I make the in-game choices I make. I have a couple guidelines I follow almost religiously.

In sex games and adult games, I do everything in my power to avoid getting the characters I play in closed relationships. If I can find a canon reason to avoid it I will. If I can't...? Well, honestly that character gets dropped sooner or later

I have no problem with monogamous relationships, I'm in very devoted one in RL. RP is not RL and closed relationships in-game(PSLs are different) bore the ever loving fuck out of me. Likewise limiting the character's partners to only a select few. I don't like it because of the vibes it sends to other people as well as it limits CR severely. I base this off what I would do or feel if I played potential CR for my own character. This isn't true for everyone but it is for me. I am less inclined to play against a character in a closed relationship, not because all I think about is sex but because it lacks room to grow. Now, you can argue that it still has potential, and it does.... except for one little thing related to me. I absolutely do not like to play competing for affections of someone between two characters. I have been in that situation in RL and it has never ever been fun for me(even if I "win.") I feel like absolute crap at the end. That's not to say I didn't attempt it in RP before, I have, and each time it isn't any fun for me and makes me feel like shit. So, I don't play that shit out. If it's IC for the character? Well, there's a big chance I will not keep that character if I can't handwave or find an IC way around it. There is no reason I should subject myself to something I don't like in what I do for fun.

There are exceptions, but the key is it has to be fun for me and it has to feel like I'm not locking out potential new CR.

For example, Ba'al can be picky about his partners and be very possessive. What I've done with him is played on his own insecurities to keep me out of playing a closed relationship. What I did with him is: It means more if the person comes back to him even after going to someone else. Because that says to his ego(the most important part of him) that he is something they can't get anywhere else. Ba'al likes to feel important and that makes him feel more important than forbidding them from seeing other people. Then how I deal with his possessiveness is pretty simple, if he's decided he likes someone, if that person is ever hurt or slighted by anyone for any reason, Ba'al comes down hard. Possessiveness isn't all about keeping someone to yourself after all. It can manifest in over-protective reactions to someone tripping the person he likes. As in, if you tripped his girl, he's going to end you.

Things get more difficult with someone like Michael but at them moment there is no Nikita in the game and his canon point is of a semi-break up. Ngl, I would adore to have a Nikita in-game again. I already figured out a way to deal with it when it comes along. A way he can be completely devoted to her without preventing him from branching out CR. Sex is more difficult issue which is why I made him a werewolf. As a werewolf, when it nears the full moon he has very very little control over his instincts and can be more easily worked into a sexual situation. This doesn't mean it has to happen but the option is there so I don't feel trapped. That's the point really. I don't like feeling trapped in CR. I don't like limiting myself. If I feel trapped or limited... I usually end up dropping the character.

Kadin was designed with these preferences in mind. So, when I get to play him it's no trouble for me. He may end up with a favorite person to spend time with but he's willing with everyone. Unless they've violated a few of his rules about life or are a bad Dom. Then he won't like you. People taking advantage of their submissive without consent makes him ill and resentful of the person responsible.

I know I have a very complicated view of the characters I play and their relationships. Ba'al and Kadin are the most complicated and I could break the character limit just talking about one or the other. There's a ton of little factors involved that makes every situation fluid but the bottom line is... I won't play any relationship that makes me feel cornered or like I've just cut a bunch of potential CR.

I can do and enjoy devoted monogamous relationships but I'd keep those in PSLs than in a game I'm playing in. It is when there are so many other characters around and so many options I can't do it.

Likewise I don't like sticking to my canonmates. I will avoid letting my character move in with his canonmates if I can avoid it. Obviously, if they have a bff i'm cool with it but if there's a big cluster of canonmates living together in an apartment or something, I avoid it. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy canonmates when I get them but if we're in a panfandom game... I don't want us all clustered together in one place. I have no problem with a small handful living together but if 90% of my cast all lives in the same house I find a reason for mine to live somewhere else(which isn't hard, most of mine don't like crowds unless they're clones).

One of the key things with that is if I'm in a panfandom game, I did not app for a cast. Period. I don't join games for casts. I used to and it always let me down. So I join for the game. If I like the game I stay. If there is a cast, awesome, but I refuse to let them be my entire CR. Again, I would love to have full casts... but I'm not kidding myself here. I want casts who don't depend on me for all their CR because I can't do that, I'll go out of my way to have my character to encourage your character to meet others(Or in the case of Ba'al, manipulate you into interactions outside the cast.). But if all you want to do is play with me... a PSL would be a better idea. In-game I can guarantee that I will let you down because I seek out CR outside my cast so I can't spend all my time only with my cast. The bigger the cast is, the more I push for outside CR for my character.

so, that's... pretty much everything I felt like talking about.

Ugh....

I got further proof today that this journal was needed. A very "special" someone, from that first sex RP I was part of, he got a hold of my private AIM the other day. He was and still is a piece of work. I just hit ignore for the billionth time. I didn't have to read "WHY DO YOU NOT LOVE ME" speeches. After the first emo poems, it really gets old.

I hate poetry by the way. If you intend to stalk me... don't write me poems. I'll shoot you. Well......... I might shoot you on general principle but that's a different issue. That's me being a violent and unstable person. I gotta work on that. Thank God for violent video games. Setting C4 on guards really makes me feel better.

This is not my only journal. I have two others. One, is strictly IRL friends, family and my very first fandom. I've had that journal since 2003. No, I won't tell you what it's called. Journal number two is strictly a fandom journal that I use to track various fandom comms on LJ. I also use it to comment in those fandom comms. I also use it to track my other role play characters... yes, I have others. No, they aren't listed here. No, I won't tell you the name of that journal either.

That brings us to journal number three. Technically speaking, it's a sock. Sort of. I find myself actively using this journal more than the other two. Why I created brimsd is very simple. I wanted to join a sex rp. It's not that I'm bashful about my kinks, I'm really not. It has nothing to do with wank. Most people don't know who I am even when I'm logged in to my other two journals.

It has everything to do with stalkers. Yes, stalkers.

Long ago, before I RPed on LJ. I joined a sex rp. I enjoyed it there, I had fun there. There was one painful downside... apparently, I was good at what I did. I played a male Dom. Good Doms are hard to find. I started getting recommended by word-of-mouth to people I didn't know. People I didn't care to know. Strangers began to message me, asking for sex. Which isn't bad except for one thing, four messages a day. A day. None of these people were terribly good RPers either, they were the most unimaginative cold fish I have ever encountered.
To avoid being bothered every time I logged in, I put a notice in my profile stating that I would not respond to OOC offers. Because seriously? It started to get old. I didn't get to actually RP, everyone wanted to talk to me OOC. The character I played allowed for IC offers.
He was the type of guy, you could walk up to, tell him your dirtiest kinks... and he would smile and ask how he could help you with that. He liked to find out what turned people on and he liked talking to people.
Long story short. People began to bother me in my personal journal, my personal website, my personal everything, asking for sex. Like I was some magical sex god who was the only one who could Dom them right. I don't respond well to ego stroking or ass kissing.

All of that? While annoying, I usually can deal with. This journal is to keep people out of my personal business but still allow them to get to know me.

What I cannot tolerate, what I do not tolerate, is one thing... do not proclaim your undying love for me because our characters banged. Once. Saying it in jest is one thing, but saying you honestly, really, really do love me IRL... is enough to make me want to shoot you in the face with buckshot made of knives.

Look, it's great you enjoyed our sex scene together. But that doesn't mean I like you OOC, it means I like your character. Assuming I have the same emotions as my character is enough to make me want to hunt you down, and rip out your throat with my teeth.

So... in closing.

This journal is here because I was harassed by jackasses who thought because my character boned them once, that they were now entitled to all my time. This happened more than once. Five times. Five times. And countless numbers of times I slammed them down into the pavement before they got any ideas. But five people didn't understand the word "No."

I can rant forever about that place. I really can, I was there six years. I still sometimes go back to have fun with a few good friends.

Also, I used to play a female Dom too. I didn't keep her long because of similar harassment reasons. Oh, yes, and this one guy who was convinced she was secretly a sub. He never would leave me the fuck alone until I blocked his ass.

Anyway, that's the reasoning behind the journal. Preventing harassment before it starts and keeping it contained. There are a precious few who can easily figure out the names of my other two journals. But that requires that you actually know me. I'm not hiding from my friends, I'm hiding from the idiots.

My friends can follow the trail of breadcrumbs and figure it out. And if you can't? No big deal. My other journals aren't that interesting. They're a lot like this one.

...My current music is absurdly fitting for this topic.